“look at me! look at meeee!” top speed calls out as he dashes through the streets, easily overtaking those clearly inferior billboards on the sides of slow buses
people in the street squint at the flash of black as it passes them by
“did you hear something?” they ask one another, totally non-plussed
“I guess the world just isn’t ready for me yet” he mutters, skulking through the shadows in shame as a solitary tear slides down his typeface
Stencil looks at his new secret base, consisting of clipart chairs and pillows, untitled document sheets and a quilt that is made up of copious amounts of typos stitched together.
He uses his own self to create a DIY Stencil poster which reads ‘no sans-serifs allowed’ and gets in.
is this some sort of a sick joke
you’re so fucking fake jokerman
we all know you’re not sorry
you make me sick
(Source: lowinterest, via trousertheft)
He’s sometimes referred to as a dark horse…
He gets annoyed by this, as people seem to have misunderstood that he literally rides a dark horse
Covered in chain-mail and armour, he rides proudly through the streets of north Manchester
“ey, what the fuck are you playing at mate?” the local school-kids jeer at him, laughing amongst themselves as the black knight trots past, sword in hand
“A jousting contest, you say?” he calls back at them, before turning sharply, drawing his sword and galloping back at them, yelling “CHAAAARGE!”
The children yawn and check their watches, wondering “what the fuck does he think he’s playing at” as the sword-tip narrowly misses them for the 14th time that week
“This is why no-one wants to use you on their history projects” one boy says, shaking his head and walking away
The black knight catches a sob in his throat, before dropping his head in shame and meekly riding away
“I’ll get ‘em next time…” he quietly reassures himself
But he never does.
She’s the kind of girl that wears her heart on her sleeve.
Literally… she is covered in heart print material.
It’s endearing at first, but then you realise she’s a bit chubby and a little too old for that kind of thing.
She can often be found carefully adjusting her heart shaped sunglasses before pressing ‘play’ for another movie on her Disney marathon night, which she always spends alone, silently clutching her vast collection of beanie babies tight to her chest.
garamond is the kind of guy who has to obsessively correct the grammar and spelling of others
a prescriptivist, if you will
he calls himself a lover of the english language, but we all know that he’s actually just incredibly anal
he’ll patronisingly underline any spelling mistake in a wiggly red line before you have chance to correct it, whilst the paperclip (whom garamond is in cahoots with) smirks condescendingly and says “remember to check your spelling!”
that feeling of smug superiority is all they have to live for
zuriich asked: haha, great blog (: are there any fonts do you actually like?
oh, we like them all, in a patronising “isn’t that just lovely” kind of way
apart from comic sans
not even a mother could love comic sans
jovial-walrus asked: this blog is of the comedy gods I AM NOT WORTHY
thank the fonts jovialwalrus, they are the true stars of this show. we are just humble biographers; the david attenborough of microsoft word, if you like.
rapscallion is the pirate of the font world
a real rascal
forever commandeering documents in his quest to sail the seven seas of simulation
before lootin’
and rebootin’
with his jolly rodger flying high
